Saturday, December 1, 2012
I want to get a tattoo.
Let that sink in for a bit.
Yes I am aware that there will be a lot of needles repeatedly stabbing me to inject ink into my skin. I know. I know. But as much as I hate that I've always wanted one. It's gone from things I thought would be cool looking (angel wings down my back) to religious symbols (from when I was more religious) to music and quotes around the wrist or ankle.
I have finally decided. I want a Hummingbird, as for placement its going to be behind my ear or on my shoulder. Two places easy to cover for more professional times and also in my opinion, two classy places.
Also I just want it one color. Black most likely or maybe a dark purple or blue. I've considered getting it in a gradient but I think it would look better in a solid color. I've also considered white but, from what I've heard if your not already pale and stay pale it just looks like you've been scared in a very interesting pattern. I'd rather not have that, and I tan to this really nice bronze over the summer when I'm outside 24/7.
As for why I want a hummingbird, well there's a lot of things.
First off, I really love hummers. They fascinate me and I love to watch them.
My biggest resin is that they are also associated with warriors. Not in mainstream media and all that but rather old folk tails and legends. Hummers are warriors who died in battle for the, I believe, accent Mynas. They are said to be warriors who move and live outside of time. It's something that I identify with very strongly at this point in my life, being a little warrior.
Especially with all that has happened between me and my mom and with Hollins and everything else in my life I feel the 'small but mighty' idea very strongly. They stay graceful and beautiful even as they fight like I hope I do.
I love speed, like roller-coasters and running and just feeling the air rush around me. those moments when you feel like you could fly are when I feel the most free. Like I can do anything. I only get those moments when I'm on a roller-coaster or flying down a hill on a bike or flying down white water.
It's not the same kinda confident "Bring it" feel I get when I hold a bow, but it's this absolute rush where suddenly the world can wait because I'm busy being me and I am amazing.
Why I want to get a tattoo, well:
It's something that can't get ignored or pretend that it's not there because it's there. Like, Mom if she really wanted to could convince her self that Ali and I were just good friends. Really celibate, don't even hold hands, friends. She can ignore how I am a feminist, or how I have my own mind.
She can't ignore ink.
No matter what she dose or says, my ink will still be there. It'll be a part of me that can't be ignored and is beautiful and wonderful and as unobtrusive as the rest of me. She can't ignore this. She can't take it away or threaten to remove it. It'll just be there. Pretty and silent, and just there.
It'll be something that my siblings can see and ask about. It'll be something that won't get me kicked out as much as Mother Dear disapproves.
It's something that she can't take away.
This is something I have firmly, stake in the ground, decided that I will do, but that along with getting my right ear pierced on the cartilage will have to wait till senior year. As much as mom has cut me off I need to not shock her for just a little while longer. But senior year, spring semester at the latest, I'm getting them!
So thoughts on tattoos? Which one should I get?