Never okay.

If you haven't heard Vitoria's Secret made a big oops...again. They all ready messed up with 'Sexy little geisha'

Uhmmm....I have never seen a geisha dressed like that. And I've seen geisha's in airports and in research for school. They look like this:

Note lack of boobs spilling about. 

Well VC did it again, but this time it was Native Americans. Let's post pone the rage and look at what they did. 

What the hell.

Also 'if it offended any one'. "Gee guys, I didn't realize that we would be offending an entire nation of people by making you sex objects, our bad." Yes this is the model and it's not really her fault but this is also what the company said as well. 

Why dose this keep happening?

It would be grate if it was just VC and we could slap them on the writs and be done with it but it's everywhere. Women of other minorities or ethnicity's are sexuwalized. Just look up adult costumes for women. Really. Breasts for your viewing pleasure are everywhere. Spilling out. 

Dose anyone have any idea what we can do about this? It needs to stop. But it's everywhere. 

Let's start something. Anything. Take back our past, and take our identities out of the low cut and skin tight ideas. 

Back to the land of Mountains and Education

So travailing again, and I'm back to my home sweet Hollins.

I had to get up incredibly early. Like, 4:00 in the morning to get to the airport by 5 for my flight at 6:45.

It was alright, DFW isn't too bad. It was just so early.

Well I got a breakfast of a bagel and creme cheese from Duncan Donuts along with a naked fruit smoothy. I also met Emily, a very nice young woman in the army who happens to play sax, and hackie sack.

Every sax player I have ever met plays hackie sack. I asked and it doesn't come in the case, but they all play. How dose this happen?

Talked with her for a while. She's getting her asigments today so good luck to her.

I'll be honest I hate long flights with untalkative people next to me. I also hate long fights becuse they're so dull. I feel asleep in my seat but it wasn't comfortable at all. Also the guy next to me smelled like bad sour crout.

Please if you ever fly, shower and have deo on. Just do it.

Got off in Dulles, got sushi again and wandered around a bit.

Really not much happened this trip.

I got to be on a smaller plane and they tend to always have comfier seats so I was happy, but nothing makes me smile like I do when I see those mountains again.

Oh Hollins it's good to be back.

Energy healing?

My first met the person who practices it introduction to energy and auras and the like was an ex friend named Darcy.

Darcy, if I may be so blunt, is rather full of her self and has an over inflated sense of importance and glory. Her way was the right way in all things spirit-y and the like.

"Your aura is (inset color) you are very (insert trate/mood/movie preference)"

You could tell her that she was wrong and then it just became she was right and you were not really aware of what you were. You were what ever she said. When she did tarot reading––which I will admit I had her do them, mostly to look at her cards because they were pretty––the reading was what she said, not what you might think it could be. For the longest time she kept giving Juliet reading that Ali and I were going to go off and abandon them all. What really ended up hapaing was she left us exept for when she found us...useful? It's another story.

Anyway;

Darcy really for a long time turned me off of anything pagan or spirt sounding because, oh God those people might be like her. I just didn't want to deal with it. I just didn't.

That was maybe half a year ago.

So this was after Bell Book and Candle's party, but I had been just picking up bits from KC on what she did. I understood jack squat.

I'm very in my body? And that's why snuggling me feels good...because I'm there? Where else would I be?

So I finally sat down and had a talk with her. I still have a hard time understanding it, but I get it a bit more now. In ways I can't really describe but I do get it more now.

She also did energy work on me.

Here's how I understand it. People have an aura, that is a small electromagnetic field around them. You're body operates with electricity, that's how messages are sent around the brain and all around the nerves. so it would make since for there to be an aura.

You'd have a hard time convincing me that you can see and interpret colors. About near impossible of a time.

But the energy field caused by the electricity around your body sounds completely reasonable to me. The energy working part comes in when one person, like KC, uses their electricity to influence another person's electricity.

It feels very tingly and my leg kept twitching, like the kinda twitch a dog's leg dose when you scratch that one nice spot on their belly.

It's definitely something I'm going to look into to some more. I should set some more times to talk with KC about it.

Sweet and Sappy

Lee is cliché in all the best ways.

First date, we walked around the arboretum, date two we went shooting, date three in the zoo and then dinner with his family, and so on.

We go on walks. We go out to dinners. We sit up at the park and talk.

Yesterday was the last time I got to see him down here so we went out again. He picked me up and we went out to Ganges Grill where his sister worked.

Did you know it's incredibly painful to try and swallow lemonade and hold back laughing at the same time?

I can't pin it down but he just makes me laugh. He doesn't have to say or do anything, when I look at him I get so happy I start giggling.

Also when ever I have the chance to leave 'spechel requirements/preferences' I add notes like "Make with tender love and care" or "Malice and spite"

"I have one made with some TLC?"

YES! They did it! Finally.

Anyway. Lee pulled up to the park again and had yet another surprise. A picnic in the park. With cherry chocolate cheesecake! Oh my gosh! It had to be the best pie of my life! And he gave me his jacket because it was cold.

Also why dose everyone I like lick my nose?

No really.

Inbetween the tickle fight, that broke out and was rather one sided, he licked me on the nose. I love such silly people.

I can't wait for him to come up to Hollins!

Gobble?

I love my family I really do, but I wanted to be home just about as much as that turkey did.

It's been a combination of a lot of things, but the end result is the same. I loved the food for it was delicious. I enjoyed watching the family game of Risk. I enjoyed talking with family.

But I couldn't help but feel like an out sider. A guest or an observer. I didn't feel like family. And then there's this knowledge that if I come out, I just may not be welcome back.

But you know, I go back home to Hollins on Sunday and I'll get to see my Hollins Family and I've missed my Sisters and my wonderful Angel Love, Ali. So not all bad?

Wednesday with Bean

Bean is my little sister. My first little sister after a long line of brothers. We take a lot of walks together and talk about everything. It's nice to have someone who doesn't judge and listens to you. Mom tried to stalk us or get out of Bean what we talk about but we honor the sister code.

We don't rat each other out or brake the sister vow of silence.

So Bean knows what's going on with me better than anyone else and I with her. These walks take hours or so. It's really quite nice

Dreams

I keep having dreams of my mom confronting me. About Hollins. About Feminism. About my identity. About having both Lee and Ali. About Ali.

I always react differently.

 One I just sat there and cried and then she walked away after banning me from all future familyness. I started looking for Ali but I couldn't find her anywhere and all I could hear was her crying. I couldn't ever get to her in time before it stoped. And it stopped too suddenly.
I couldn't ever save her.

Other times I'm pleading. Begging for even a little tuition aid. Begging to still be loved. Begging to be welcome in the house. Begging to not be erased from the memory of my siblings. Begging for her to attend my graduation, my wedding.

Most of the time I react with rage. Its the only time I remember the words. "I found people who love me for me! I pay for my own fucking school because you fucking cut me off. I will live with who ever the hell I want!"
"Try not to fuck up the others like you did me, bitch"
"Get the fuck out of my apparently damned life"
"You will never see me again."

The last one I was just tiered.
"No. I'm not coming back. Sorry but I'm not. I'll be by after graduation to collect my things and then I'll be gone."

I really hope this isn't foreshadowing.

We're not art people

At least not modern-ish art. Ali is an art person, so maybe someday we can bring her along and she can explain it all to us.

Last night thou it was just Lee and I wandering around an art museum. A modern art museum. It was fun and there were a few peaces that I did really like...they were the ones that I didn't think I could do myself.

Now I know that somewhere out there there's probably a few artists that want to stab me with their brushes for saying that, but I'm not an...abstract modern art person. I like the ones that look challenging to pull off. The blurs of colors just don't to me.

We did plot how to steal a head statue...thingy...that we couldn't decide if it looked sad or happy. So there?

It was fun thou I really missed him and afterwards we went out to eat at an Asian Buffet. It had really good sushi and egg drop soup and chicken. And the company always helps. I could talk to him for weeks and never get bored with it. I swear when I'm around him sometimes I start giggling just because I'm so happy he's there.

I know that sounds over sweet but it's true.

The week is still young so maybe we'll be abel to sneak back out. That would be nice.

Here's hopeing.

Back to Play, and back to the land of child

Like I've said before, airports are my playground. I love travaling. It's my favorite part of the holliays. Well that and now I can see Lee hopefully, if I'm not too tied down by children and the duty of the older sibling.

Anyway.

This was not very eventful travel, at least not till I landed in Dulls and then DFW. Roanoke is just a tinny airport in general. Only six gates, one little magazine store, and one itty bitty bakery once you go through security.

I suppose the interesting thing that happened there was I was abel to hold a bag where it wasn't supposed to be. *gasp?* I was in the front seat that has no other seat for me to slid my back pack under.  I just put my feet on it and acted like it was supposed to be there.  Ta-Da?

Anyway got to Dulles in DC for my connecting flight to Dallas and all of the Romney stuff was outside the store in the shoplift section. You know that spot outside the door where they can't really watch you or stop you. Don't know what it says that, that's what I call it but eh. Now Romney, he's out there. All 50% and more off. The only Romney related thing I saw was a tee: "Don't look at me I voted for Romney".

Now if said person really did go vote then they may complain.

My favorit tee was this one <–– It about sums it up for me. Don't get me wrong, Obama seems like a nice guy. but just I don't much care for politicians.

Any-Hoo

I was in Dulles for maybe 2.5 hours and I had my little suitcase  and my backpack and lots of time. Also I was hungry.

My favorite food to get at an airport is sushi. It's really not bad because airports that sell sushi are busy enough that the sushi is usawaly nice and fresh. Very tasty. Also Hollins has no sushi at all. It makes me sad.

Now I landed at the edge of C and had to find D 29.

Airports are my playground. I love them and memorize where things are easy. In Dulles should you ever need a difibulatior, go to the nearest large sit down restaurant and look at the wall across from it. Especially pubs. Just a hint.

The one thing I have never found in Dulles till yesterday was a Sushi place. I had to hop on one of the shuttle things and go to A. Turns out theres a sushi bar there next to the Fudruckers I was take to on a date by a guy named John from the navy (He's nice we still text from time to time) and across from the Ben and Jerry's. I don't remember what flag it was under, but you walk past Brazil but I believe it;s before Australia.

This was my first sit down sushi bar. I'd never had theirs before so I ordered tame. They didn't have a crab roll so I went with a California, and I prefer rolls anyway. I got to watch it be made and it might have been some of the best sushi I have ever had. I got to listen to them talk in Japanese as I ate to. I only picked up a few words like "Hai" and "Ikimas" but I do love the sound of words.

This was also a first for me. I finally mastered chopsticks! I was so nervous too, because everyone else was using them so easily, but I did it! I finally was able to hold them right and do it and I didn't drop a single roll!

I killed the rest of my time stoping in one of the little magazine shops once I got back over to D. Pick up some mentos, check out the little voodoo dolls I collect but Dulles is so expensive so no dolls. I'd finished my book and didn't want to start my next one so I grabbed psychology today and a smoothy and went to my gate to sit and read.

I will be subscribing to this magazen. Its so fascinating.

The plane ride wasn't that good. Long and dull, It had a movie but I didn't pay to much attention.

The other fun came when I was in DFW. I was all carry on so I didn't have any bags to claim and Mom was going to be about another two hours. I grabbed a carmel frap from Starbucks and some lemon pound cake and set up a spot in a lounge to charge my phone and text Ali and Lee. Let various persons know I landed safe.

Then I met someone new.

"Hay, you with the beautiful hair. Is there an out lit there?"

I complemented her boots, for there were very snazzy and we got to talking. It was so nice. I think we had about the same views on everything. She also sounded like a perfect fit for Hollins so when I get back I'm sending her some information and I'll link her to scholarships. We talked for the entier time till Mom was out side and I had to go. She was stuck there till 7 the next morning.

All in all I love traveling and this was a good run

Doll me

 I've found that when I'm really stressed that the best thing for me to do is to go on doll divine and make little dolls of me. I don't know why. It just really works. I find it fun and relaxing and then I'm not stressed or mad or anything.

Really you should go try it.

The boyfriend is coming the boyfriend is coming

Lee is coming up to Hollins to see me! I'm so excited and happy!

He's never flown before so it's a first for him

Another first is that, well he happens to be coming the weekend of Winter Ball. So it's his first formal too. He was home schooled, so he's never had one before.

I'm so happy! I've missed Lee so much, and where yes I'm going back to Texas this week end for Thanksgiving I still and more excited for him coming up here.

He and Ali can meet in person. He'll see my home. We can run around and do Jazz and Lee things. All good fun.

I can't wait!

Ring Night!!! part one

Okay so I couldn't do the daily update like I promised but here's going to be a day by day.

Thursday.

I was excited and frightened as hell. I honestly was convinced that I wouldn't know my sister because I was a pity pick. All of those few seniors I did know where involved in things like ADA, HAB, Roundtable or specialty houseing. They'd pick juniors in there and not me.

But I was so excited because it was Ring Night. This is the thing when you are a junior. It's like sorority rushing but with out the risk of hazing and the entire jr. class dose it.

I got in my group with Ali, Juliet, Rae, Chris (who I knew but hadn't really talked to that much), and Tibby. We met at 4:30 to meet our helpers and get our skit prompt.

Skits are at 5:30

They refused to give us our prompt till 5.

Now it wasn't so bad, as much as we pretended to be insulted and upset to them. We had to do a skit to 'Be a Man' from Mulan. We sang it ourselves as Ali acted as Shang with her short sticks. We were the hopeless recrutes. We snuck in some Hollins feminism by when we sang "Did they send me daughters?" We all struck heroic poses. "When I asked for sons" we looked around, scratched pretended to pick noses.

We propsufly messed up on kicks and punches till the part after the big mid section.

I was Mulan, and when I went up to show how I had improved Ali tried to send me home with a flick of her sticks. Well Mulan/me grabbed the sticks and as the other's sang Ali and I dueled it out. I was then deemed bad ass enough for the Imperial Army. Ali and I are both officers in the Hollins Martial Arts club.

Then it was time for the Scavenger hunt. Usawaly groups go on a cross city hunt to take pictures and that sort of thing. Juliet didn't want to leave campus so we did ours at Hollins. It was a blast and the riddles were really good.

After that we put on our paint clothes and our sunglasses (Blindfolds are against the rules now as another step to prevent hazeing. We are a sisterhood and look after each other like that.) The helpers than lead us around campus as we couldn't see because it was night and then up to a spot where we sat down and waited in a circle. Talking and singing to each other.

Seniors are fucking creepy this night.

They all try and hide there voices so they talk real high and really creepy as they walk around you asking you to sing cretin songs before they pull you away one by one to get a picture. You still don't see them as your blind from sunglasses.

Then the painting. After everyone is done we sit in our circle and hold our hands up and they squirt paint into them. when then paint about as well as a blind dog on each other's shirts.

It's wet and cold and I'd do it all over again.

Our sisters leave and then we're allowed to take off the sun glasses and go back to the dorms and try and scrub the pain from our skin. Ali's shoulder was dyed green and yellow for days. We also now have our list of demands and before we sleep we start on our odes and top 10s.

And then we sleep.

Juuuuiinnnoorrrs

It's Ring Night.

Oh dear. 

Well how to explain Ring night...I might have a suitable picture let me see. 

Well it feels like that sometimes but in the cool way.

Uhh.... let me try again.

Oh the crafting we'll have to do. and the Odes and oh my oh my...

Well let me just try and explaine what happens in this majical prosses. 

Each Junior has at least on Secret Senior Sister that gives them demands Thursday through Saturday and then gives them their Ring Night basket full of goodies and treats! 

Today we have a skit that we are made to perform and we get our call outs. Call outs are like Random person: "Group 9 what do you do?" Group nine: "Don't stop, never give up! Hold your head high and reach the top!" Or they can be individual like: Random person: "What do I do with a kitty cat?" Junior X "Any body wanna snuggle, meow?"

They can be cute, dirty, funny, or what ever.

After skits we go on a scavenger hunt. This can be done in many ways and tonight I'll tell you how mine goes.

Then we get our odes  to do and a list of demands for tomorrow.

It's all very fun and safe and a wonderful tradition for the Juniors and Seniors.

There are rules in place to keep everyone safe and prevent any hazing and every Junior has the right to say no to a demand or call out and are encouraged to do so if it makes them uncomfortable. There are times when demands can not be given so that we can sleep and get work done.

I'm so excited I can't wait. 

Bell Book and Cupcakes

So as I had said before I'm more spiritual than religious, and I will admit I take a few things from paganism. Some of what they say really makes since. Mostly I look into the natural healing and that sort of thing. If the Fay are real or not I don't know. Wouldn't be surprised if it was, wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. I meen I've seen ghosts.

Anyway.

Ali was going to take me on a date as we hadn't had one in so long. We were going to go to a seniors thesis performance with the flute. Right as were were getting around to go out, a knock on the door happened.

Ali is the club cornatior. She runs and manages all SGA clubs and they come to her with questions and problems. At the door was a question/problem.

Katniss (as I call her, she is a huger Hunger Games fan) was about to cry because the room she had reserved for her Bell Book and Candle. Chairs where everywhere and she's never thrown a party before and was just really stressed out. So Ali and I went to help out.

We helped move the chairs back and get things set up, and then with some time to kill we hung out.

I've never been sure to believe in tarot or not...but I do get eerily reflective readings of my life.

Like the one Katniss did for my past life.

I was a black sheep of were ever I was, even thou I was a leader in some local revaluation. But not leader by choice. and I was a black sheep because of a well...because past me was involved with another woman *gasp*. My mother then did not approve of this, big surprise, but out of her love for me she led the counter revolution. Also my little revolutions sounded alot like Hollins. I also had a man that sounded like Lee as well as someone like Ali.

Katniss and I arn't the closest people, also she reads what she reads. As unbiassed as Trot can get I suppose you could say. But she dose warn that her reading may not be clear, and all.

I also got a reading with stones. It liked mapped out my life. The goals I have, problems, that one friend that I don't have to call every day but every time we talk it's like we never dropped off. That one female figure that I feel betrayed by.

It's interesting.

Ali and I ended up staying and talking as the party went on. It was a fun date.

I think I might just go to more Bell Book and Candle events. Panginsum is so interesting and many times a take what fits you leave what dosn't.

I shall keep you updated

Hoop Dance

So I'm part Cherokee and part Creek. Some people say they can see it but I don't feel like I look particularly native. Anyway I have always loved the Native cultures and myths. I especially love their language and dances, but well I can't learn navajo at this rate but I did dace for a while and I pick up on it very quickly now.

Well this Friday Hollins had a pair of Hoop Dancers come into Moody and preform as we were eating lunch.

Hoop Dancers are like this:

Well at least this is one of them. Really you should go look them up. Well they asked for two volunteers to come up and learn how to dance with them and I went up. It's complex and simple all at the same time. I wish I had hoops to practice with. It was so much fun.

I wasn't flawless or awe inspiring but I didn't fall on my face so that's good too.

Anyway. Go look them up! Try it out

So many Y's

It seems to be bring your boyfriend to campus weekend. Or day. I'm not sure which yet. Prosbies are coming tomorrow so all hosts are forbidden to have overnight guests. Don't want to make things awkward for the little prosbies, and politeness. Also next week end is Ring Night and anyone who is not currently going to Hollins is not allowed near any Ring Night activity.

Perhaps I'm just noticing more than usawal because I really miss Lee. He's all the way in Texas. I love Ali but she's not Lee and they can't replace each other. On the bright side, late this month or early next he'll be here to visit me at Hollins! I'm so excited! Then he and Ali can meet in person and not just over skype.

Also he's terrified of hights, but he's flying in to see me. This will be the first time he's ever been on a plane. I personally love flying, but you know, it's not for everyone I suppose. Still it meens so much that he would get on a plane for me. I'd like to think that I'd go through a house of clowns for him....but if I'm honest it'll have to take some real motivation to get me to willingly go through that. Like his life in imetiat danger of no longer going on. Then I know I would gladly knife/pepper-spray/shoot my way through any amount of clowns. (Don't laugh, clowns are twisted evil things.)

Anyway I'm off to go clean as I'm due to get a prosbie tomorrow and my room is a bit of a pit.

One flight to rule them all!

I love New Zeland. It's so beautiful there, and if I'm remembering correctly Ali and I could adopt there. I also love flying. And Tolkien, the father of the modern fantasy.

Here's all of that combined.

Enjoy