Talks

So who do you talk to when you question your sexuality. Well it all depends on you, really. Some people are really good with just the internet, some that friend you see every day and some people even talk to the clergy.

Well this is who I talked to.

Not Lee.

Not even Ali.

Friends that I hadn't see face to face in about three years. Over Skype. It is very handy to have friends that you don't talk to for years and they you just pick up like it was yesterday when you talk again. So we talked about what they were doing and talked about life and I think with one I debated witch legendary pokemon would make the best world travailing compainion. I choose Ente (If that's how you spell it). No legendary I want a herd of Evee's, evolved and non.

And then I told them. "So....I think I'm a lesbian..."

And we worked through that. I got a lot of "Well...I can't say I'm surprised." Or "That makes since."

Only when I was 99.9999999% sure I was gay did I talk to closer friends like Juliet. That just confirmed what I was already thinking. Then I told Ali.

The thing about coming out is, no matter who what or where I still get nervous. Ali is my girl friend and I still had that 'ohshitohshitohshit' feeling.

From there you can all guess, I told Lee and we ended.

As for why I didn't talk to Ali or Lee about this I have pretty good resins. In the very least they are good to me.

For starters, the feelings weren't anything new. It's something I've been dealing with since I realized people don't have cooties. It wasn't a big news flash to me that said feelings were creeping up again and so I didn't news flash it. Secondly, they were both dating me at the time. Not exactly unbiased. Even Ali, who had no risk of my sexuality causing things to end.

Also I've been talked out of being gay before and convinced I wasn't. Yes it was along time ago but I didn't want to risk it, and to be honest I was afraid of something like that happening with Lee. As sweet as he is there is still the:
"So, boyfriend....male...guy...I think I might be a lesbian. Have you any thoughts?"

I just couldn't do it.

So I didn't tell him till a few days after I was absolutely sure, and well here we are now.