Saturday, October 13, 2012

To pill or not to pill?

Not the baby pill, tho I might get on that for the PCOS.


You see I have ADHD.

I thought it was just ADD but apparently it's just an old term, and ADHD is the new and updated term as of the DSM IV and has two subsets of pradomitly inactive and pradomitly hyperactive. Basicly you have the kids who are quite and the teachers like them, but they just can't seem to pay attenchen, and the kids who drive all the teachers nuts and can't pay attention because they can't quit jumping around the room.

This is usawlay treated by an amphetamine pill, such as Riddalyn. The problem is it's a quick fix and it is not very long lasting till you have to switch pills because you build a tolerance to them so quickly. Riddalyn stopped working for me in about three years. That's bad. Pill hopping can be bad.

And the side effects are awful.
I never want to eat. Like I'll walk into Moody and want to throw up just because I thought of maybe possibly putting something in my mouth. If I take them to late in the day I can't sleep at night. They give me migraines sometimes. And by the time they wear off at night I haven't eaten much all day so I'm starving at maybe about 11pm and hunting for food around my room.

On the flipside it's easyer for me to stay on task and plan...ish. I'm still not good with planers
but in my head planing and the follow through.

How they work in not jargon is they act as a stimulus to the Frontal lobe of your brain. That's the part basically right behind your forehead, it's in control of things like judgement, planing, holding out for higher rewards, that sorta thing. ADHD people, to my understanding, have an underdevloped Frontal lobe, and there for it can't keep up or control the limbic system, whitch is emotions and impulses.

So think of it like a baby. The baby is hungry and you will know it's hungry because they will cry and continue to do so until they have food. They don't consider that Mom or Dad has had a long day and is tiered and still has more work to do. They are hungry now. but you ad the majical pill of age and then the baby/kid can understand that if they wait maybe five minuets they will be fed and all will be well in the world.

I also can't join the military as long as I'm on the pill for it. That just bites. It was something I've always wanted to do, and Army reserve to me is something I fell I would be good at and its a six year job. Six year paycheak. That's pretty good for this economy.


I've been starting to feel like the bad out wighes the good on the effects of this thing. I know I can fourush and be successful and all that with out it, the problem is I was never really taught any skills to handle it besides swallowing that little white pill.

So maybe there is a planer out there that will help me, I just need to find it. I just don't know how or what kind to even look for. I know I'm going to go out tonight and get a legal pad of grid paper and a holder thing for it, so I'll have that to make lists and notes on what I need to do. My thing is, should I cut off cold turkey? I am in college. If this is a really bad idea right now my GPA could suffer.

Also Ali says that she can tell when I'm not on the pill because well my fiery temper gets more fiery. I get more stressed when I remember things I forgot easyer. I snap sooner. Not to a complete and utter bitch level but knowtisabul.

I don't know, I could just be panicking because I forgot and I just remembered and I don't know for how long I will. So a planer could fix that.

Right now I think I might just start cutting down how many times I week I take it, and then take it less and less. That way it's gradual and I want to get an outside person to monitor as well so that if it's really an bad idea, someone might see before me and I can stop before I shoot my self in the foot and we go from there.

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